I was thinking about what excuse I should make for not writing any post for quite a while. But then, I think I don’t have to make any excuse. It just happened. I couldn’t write anything because things were happening so quickly that I couldn’t even take a break. Not only things were happening so quickly, but also mood were swinging so easily. Anger, excitement, sadness, fear, stress, disappointment, love, pride, happiness. All of them slipped into our life and played in our heart alternately in the last weeks.
It started with the stress and anxiety given by the block week that sucked a lot of people’s energy physically and mentally, which might be followed by disappointment. Although block week had finished, the academic life was still challenging as practice IAs and IOCs were haunting us. Then, I was personally burdened by the rush I experienced during (the preparation of) the fundraising for my project “Urban Nomadizing” and my mangrove tree planting project since I had to gather the money before the end of May.
In the midst of the rush, the mandatory outdoor weekend provided me a stress reliever when I was biking down a hill in the Black Forest with 800 m elevation drop only in 15 km and also serenity when I was biking through a straight path in the middle of the pine forest with flowers on the sideway like in the romantic movies. It gave me satisfaction as well because everything was perfectly done, especially by the help of a teacher, Angus, who kindly accompanied us.
After both generations got rid of their academics, the atmosphere was turning into something different. The air was filled with positivity, complemented with the bittersweet smile cherishing the last moments together. Second years show, last party, last house meeting, watching movies together as a community, closing ceremony, appreciation night. Happiness, pride, love, gratitude. Those moments and emotions were so beautiful.
Then came the stage for sadness. Monday morning that is well-known as the worst part of the week got worse when we had to give our last hug and say our goodbye to the second years and even worse when the rain completed that mournful morning. That night, emptiness came along. The student village that used to be filled with students’ madness suddenly turned into a deserted graveyard. Half of the people were gone.
The time where we were independent from the second years arrived: disorientation week. Working in the Klostergarten, university presentation, sustainability planning, etc. Nothing much to say about that actually as it was only a series of activity to prepare the next year. Nevertheless, I am glad that in that period, specifically at last night at school, I was able to close the first chapter of UWC experience in a smooth way by jumping together into the pond, washing our soul to get prepared for summer break.
And here I am. Laying my back to the airplane’s soft seat, optimizing my biggest carbon emission of the year by enjoying the facility and the food while turning the draft of this post into something decent. Now I am going back to Indonesia with a blended feeling. Excitement? Yes, for sure. But somehow my heart is already filled by the longing of the campus and Freiburg environment that have been my second home in the last nine months. It is weird, to leave home for home.
Yeah, I am heading my first home. I am going back.
P.S.: As I am publishing this, I am already in my room! Pictures will be added later🙂